


I Will Ruin You

by NalgeneWhore



Series: Elorcan One Shots [37]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre
Series: Elorcan One Shots [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636468
Kudos: 15





	I Will Ruin You

“Why are you acting like this, Princess? You knew what I wanted and agreed to it!” **  
**

She angrily wiped her tears away, not stopping even as she heard the door to his building slam shut and his feet running after her. When his hand wrapped around her upper arm, she whirled, yanking out of his grasp as if it burned her. 

His eyes widened at the expression on her face but the almost soft look of them was replaced with cold contempt as she glared at him, tears slipping free again. “I told you, that was all we could be and you agreed, you said it would just be sex, no feelings.”

“I know,” she whispered, leaning around to wave for a cab, “I know and like a fucking child I couldn’t help myself. Happy?”

“You think I’m happy about any of this? Do you really think that low of me?”

“How am I supposed to know? You don’t talk to me, you don’t talk to anyone except Whitethorn! All I know is that I love you, I love you so fucking much it hurts when you’re not around and I feel like I can barely breathe and I hate it, I hate that I feel like that!” Her voice was raised and filled with a deep and icy rage. He opened his mouth but no words came out as the cab pulled up and Elide wrenched the door open as she got in, slamming it closed behind her, Lorcan still standing perfectly still as she told the driver where to go.

She barely noticed the drive home and ignored the looks of pity the man gave her as she sobbed in the backseat, her head involuntarily turning so that she was able to see Lorcan stand in the middle of the street, anguish clear over his savagely beautiful face, as she cursed herself for falling for the one person who could never feel like her.

She paid the cabbie what was probably too much but she didn’t care as she climbed out, not feeling the freezing rain as it cut through her clothes, as it chilled her to the bone. It mixed with the tears still pouring down her face. 

Elide hiccuped as she turned the key in the lock, shivering as the shock of the evening finally wore off and the cold seeped in. She realized someone was calling her name and turned, a broken sob torn from her throat as she took in Lorcan standing on the sidewalk, looking for all the world like he had sprinted across the city in the rain for her. His chest heaved, his soaked t-shirt sticking to his skin and she loathed the way her eyes caught on the chiseled planes of it. 

He walked up the steps, walked until Elide was forced to lose ground, her back bumping into the brick exterior of her building. She had to tilt her chin up to keep her eyes locked on his. “I’m not good like you, Princess.” 

She knew where he was going with it, he was going to end it as if what she had confessed hadn’t already finished it. She shook her head, tears she didn’t know she still had spilling down her cheeks. “Please, don’t, Lorcan, don’t.”

He gently took her face in his hands, pressing his forehead to hers, his eyes fracturing as she cried, as she dropped her purse and held his hands where they rested on her face. “I am broken and ruined and I will wreck you. I am not whole and I will destroy you.”

Again Elide shook her head, her nose brushing against his as she whispered, “You can’t ruin something that’s already broken.”

His hands fell from her face as he took a step back, that awful light shining in his eyes, “Nothing good ever comes for those who love me, Elide. I won’t let you, I can’t let you.”

She sobbed, her throat burning from the force of it, “You don’t get to make that decision for me, you bastard. Of all people, you don’t get to decide that.” She reached for him and it was like he couldn’t help himself when he took her hands in his and pressed soft, heartbreaking kisses to her palms before he shook his head slowly. “Don’t do this, Lorcan.”

He breathed the words that ravaged her and saved her all at once. “I love you so fucking much, ok? I love you and I have to say goodbye because we don’t work, we’ve never worked, Princess.” He dropped her hands and wound one of his hands through her hair, pulling her to press a searing kiss to her lips, one that tasted like goodbye. 

“I love you, always.”

**Author's Note:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post there more regularly)


End file.
